Child(ren) Held Hostage

I hope this Blog will prove helpful in the recognition and useful in deterrence of Parental Alienation.

I will undoubtedly be using this blog in part as a therapeutic venue. I will also use this blog as a communication portal to my children if they should choose to use it.

"Parental Alienation is about parents who place their own selfish needs above those of their defenseless children and in doing so, they deny them their right to love and be loved by both parents. Alienators do not fit the stereotype of the deficient and ill-equipment parent. Instead, these parents are generally articulate, resourceful, and competent in all other aspects of their lives – except in the realm of parenting. In fact, these individuals might easily be mistaken for ideal parents, except to the properly informed, because they profess love and concern for their children. What sets these individuals apart from other dysfunctional parents is their overwhelming commitment to meeting their own needs first. In doing so, they destroy the relationship their children have with the other parent – at whatever cost. ” Dr. Reena Sommer - Internationally Recognized Divorce and Custody Consultant
Don't forget to click on one of the videos below for powerful information!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

My prayers to a family affected by PAS


Hello Matt,

I found your blog today, and was heartbroken, as I too have gone through this, in fact, "still" going  through.
I am in so much disbelief that this is a real problem, with no soothing remedy to fix this.  (At least so it seems at this point.

I am the mother of 3 sons. My youngest son's father has "completely" brains washed my son at an early age, and it has
only intensified when I filed child support, and then began a new relationship, with whom I am now married to my husband for almost 4 years now.
My son that I'm speaking of is now 15 1/2 years old. I had filed for support when he was 10 or 11. 
Now that my son is 15 1/2, here in the state of Georgia, there's the minor's election where he can decide where he wants to live.
Obviously he decided to live with his dad...as this was strategically planned for years.  Nevertheless, his father was abusive to me, in more
ways than one for years and years. When I finally walked away, this was the beginning of his vindictiveness, and his already  evil spirit, getting more evil.
I have a great relationship with my older sons, father, as he came to my wedding. My older sons, 24 and 21 are great role models to their brother!!
They too are hurt over this matter and angry as well.
When going through the custody modification, the judge hardly cared enough as my attorney pleaded with her in our closing remarks to pay attention to the fact of the
matter... that my son has been severly brainwashed and this is a cause of parental alienation. The judge ordered that his father would now become the primary, which only allows the alienater to now have "legal control" and cause even more damage.. She lessened the visitation with me even more so, that what my sons father had when I was the primary.
It was baffling that a judge could be so ignorant on this matter as it was obvious in my testimony. She then ordered me to pay child support when my son's father was
already thousand's of dollars behind in child support. However, I had a case last week, and this particular judge granted the contempt motion for the child support.
So I was able to have a slight victory.  I understand it's really not about the child support at all...it was about the principle and me fighting back. The alienating parent has 
deliberately set out to hurt me any way he can, and the number one way is through my son. 

He doesn't allow my son to call me, or respond to my calls or texts, although we have a court order. Once he came with police officers to my home to humiliate and attempted to pick up my son on MY time, just because my son said he wanted to leave. Fortunately , the officers said it was a civil matter. Another victory. Once before, I went to pick up my son during my time, and my son wouldn't come out of his father's apartment. My son said, he didn't want to see me. I was stunned and said, ok, I love you. Bye.

I keep calling only to be rejected. I keep texting only, and rejected with no response. I tell him that I love him.
When I'm finally able to speak to my son, he's sounds like a controlled robot. It's heartbreaking,as I know all too well of the fear and intimidation I once
felt when his dad intimidated, manipulated and place fear in me. How can I save my son, when he doesn't understand he's being manipulated. 
Another hurtful aspect , I know my son loves me, yet he is disrespectful to me at times. Afraid to be nice when his father is close. 
He's made to feel as if he will betray his father if he loves his other family members.


I have been so sad, angry , frustrated and at my wit's end. I just cannot get over someone using so much of their energy to destroy a loving bond between a child and the other parent. I just don't know what to do.

As I read the blogs, I was  a little confused,  what is "your" part in all this. Are you the father posting these blogs?

"What can I do to begin the process of changing some laws?"  


Thank you for reading...venting a little as this has REALLY taken a toll on me these last few weeks since the judge awarded the alienating parent
as the primary. . 

Terry


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